Shake Hands and Eat Pumpkin Spice

Breaking news: I’ve found a few things more basic than the Pumpkin Spice Latte. They include: writing about how basic pumpkin spice lattes are, using the PSL acronym, and posting on Facebook about your lack of shame in creating pumpkin spice recipe boards on Pinterest. Yes, this is a case where identifying a cliché has become cliché, so I’m going to skip over the banality of calling pumpkin spice basic and instead talk about what you can do about Pumpkin Spice, in your life, right now. 

Now, the odds are that you already have strong feelings about pumpkin spice. It’s a polarizing phenomenon, and you may have had to position yourself as pro- or anti-pumpkin spice simply to keep a level head in your daily life. Yes, there is a major election happening in 2016, but the banter-filled Basic Battle Royale of Pumpkin Spice is going on now. People at both ends of the spectrum are gushing or grimacing about pumpkin spice at the office, in cafes, at the grocery store and of course, online. The Great Pumpkin needs your vote, and if we are being honest, he probably already has it. You (and all your Facebook friends) know where you (and all your Facebook friends) stand on pumpkin spice, so now what do we do about it? In the spirit of the upcoming holiday season, I’ve decided to reach across party lines and develop what I am calling a Pumpkin Spice Peace Treaty.  

 

PUMPKIN SPICE PEACE TREATY:

Stop being difficult about pumpkin spice. Quickly enjoy delicious, fuss-free, and healthy pumpkin spice. There is no need to talk about the experience.

*Pumpkin Spice Loyalists

Sign x________________

*Pumpkin Spice Opponents

Sign x________________

 

The treaty is founded upon the resolution of a few major gripes I (and others like me) have with pumpkin spice:

  1. Pumpkin spice is often not enjoyable to eat. Pumpkin spice candy corn, pumpkin spice Hershey’s Kisses, and pumpkin spice Frosted Mini-Wheats (yes, that’s a thing) often taste more like potpourri or Febreze than actual edibles. Let us seek pumpkin spice that tastes like food. 

  2. Pumpkin spice is fussy. I have tried several pumpkin spice recipes and even someone who truly enjoys the flavor profile of triple-sifted flour, cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, Madagascar vanilla, homemade buttercream, and cage-free local eggs might be turned off by the shopping and work required to put them all together into something to eat. Let us skip fancy and choose simple pumpkin spice.

  3. Pumpkin spice is bad for you. See 1 and 2. I’m all about selecting pumpkin spice options that will not make us swell up like prized pumpkins at the State Fair.

  4. Pumpkin spice is noisy. Let’s keep quiet about our pumpkin spice. It’s really just as enjoyable to consume pumpkin spice if we do not tweet, talk, text, tag, or type about our experiences with pumpkin spice. Peace is maintained as a result.

Now, to put this treaty into effect, I’ve compiled 4 Delicious, Easy, and Healthy pumpkin spice options that you can eat. Silently.
    1. Pumpkin Noosa: Noosa is thick, velvety Australian yoghurt, with an H. Yes, it’s creamier than Greek yogurt and has less protein, but it’s made with real, wholesome ingredients and has no artificial sweeteners or preservatives. The pumpkin variety is a healthy treat.  

    2. Pumpkin QuestBar: I eat Quest bars every day for their high-protein, low-sugar blend of tasty on-the-go energy. With 21g of protein, no added sugar or gluten, and an amazing pumpkin coating with crunchies on top, this bar is a solid option for a post-workout snack.r

    3. Pumpkin Spice Seeds: remember the cayenne pepper and maple syrup cleanse? I’m over that too. Those same healthy ingredients (cayenne to boost metabolism, syrup for natural sweetness) are combined for tastier results in Our Daily Eats Spicy Maple Pepitas. Pumpkin seeds boast a variety of nutrients and antioxidants, including magnesium, manganese, copper, protein, and zinc.

    4. Pumpkin, Spiced: Okay, this one really is basic, but it’s easy and good. Take real pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling), add dried fruit, some raw nuts, and your choice of spices (cinnamon, cloves, etc.) and eat it with a spoon. Nutritionally-speaking, raw pumpkin is no-joke. It packs a hearty dose of fiber, Vitamin A, magnesium and potassium into one serving, all with a really low caloric count.   

    5. Here’s to Pumpkin Spice Peace.

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